I feel like total shit today, I seriously feel like there is no meaning to life. I am failing all my classes in high school, I don't feel like I can go home and be comfortable anymore, I feel as if the world is against me, nothing is going right.
I don't know what to do, I'm in a corner, I'm lost, the past is dark and the future looks even darker. I am not going to go to college, my grades simply do not permit that. My parents feel as if they have been terrible parents because I am failing in every aspect of life. I don't do well in school, I don't know what I enjoy, I don't even think I know what happiness feels like anymore. Joy has simply abandoned me.
What am I to do with myself? I am I simply just to exist in this world? Maybe something good is to happen in the future, at least I can hope so, because I do not remember the last time when I was happy about something that happened to me.
I do not feel as if I have any true friends. I have moved away from all my childhood friends, I do not talk to any of my friends from elementary school, I rarely talk to 1 person I know from middle school, and I never go out with my "friends" in high school. Maybe this would be OK, if I was a genius in school.
Which brings me to another topic, I scored into Junior and Senior level classes as a Freshman in high school. But what happened to that? I didn't do my homework, I failed out of every honors class I was in. My academics have gone down hill ever since Middle school, I never had a challenge until middle school, I could pass all elementary school without ever opening a book. As if I had perfect memory.
Then I hit middle school, things got challenging and I didn't know what to do. I thought I could pass by with shear intelligence. I quickly realized that I could not. I couldn't use my normal ways of flying through school. I never had a challenge on homeworks and now I did, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't and still can't bring myself to doing homework. the last 6 years of my life has been so depressing, I have lost the spark in my life. My parents say that I am not interested in anything anymore, and I suppose they are right. I have no motivation to be good at anything. If I can't do it right away, I give up. I suppose that's why my life sucks. I don't know, I hope things will get better, but I know that nothing will get better.....
I don't know what to do, I'm in a corner, I'm lost, the past is dark and the future looks even darker. I am not going to go to college, my grades simply do not permit that. My parents feel as if they have been terrible parents because I am failing in every aspect of life. I don't do well in school, I don't know what I enjoy, I don't even think I know what happiness feels like anymore. Joy has simply abandoned me.
What am I to do with myself? I am I simply just to exist in this world? Maybe something good is to happen in the future, at least I can hope so, because I do not remember the last time when I was happy about something that happened to me.
I do not feel as if I have any true friends. I have moved away from all my childhood friends, I do not talk to any of my friends from elementary school, I rarely talk to 1 person I know from middle school, and I never go out with my "friends" in high school. Maybe this would be OK, if I was a genius in school.
Which brings me to another topic, I scored into Junior and Senior level classes as a Freshman in high school. But what happened to that? I didn't do my homework, I failed out of every honors class I was in. My academics have gone down hill ever since Middle school, I never had a challenge until middle school, I could pass all elementary school without ever opening a book. As if I had perfect memory.
Then I hit middle school, things got challenging and I didn't know what to do. I thought I could pass by with shear intelligence. I quickly realized that I could not. I couldn't use my normal ways of flying through school. I never had a challenge on homeworks and now I did, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't and still can't bring myself to doing homework. the last 6 years of my life has been so depressing, I have lost the spark in my life. My parents say that I am not interested in anything anymore, and I suppose they are right. I have no motivation to be good at anything. If I can't do it right away, I give up. I suppose that's why my life sucks. I don't know, I hope things will get better, but I know that nothing will get better.....
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